On November 24th 2012 we lost a very dear family member, our cat Aetius (pronounced I shus). He was very much loved by all and sadly was knocked by a car when he very sneakily got out a window early in the evening after he was supposed to be locked in for the night.
My Son who has aspergers was so very attached to Aetius and it hit him really badly when he was killed. I have to say one of the hardest things I have had to do as a Mum is tell our son that Aetius was killed.
Asperger’s kids can often form attachments to animals much more deeply than to some humans, he was like that with our cat.
|Here with my daughter|
After a month and a bit since the loss our son will still get teary if he sees something that belonged to Aetius or something he used to play with. This has in itself been difficult at times because he kind of just goes right back to the grief of his loss and it takes a little bit to distract him from it.
In the early days of losing Aetius we were all a little shell-shocked but realized that we had to continue on in our everyday lives and just be happy to have had such a sweet cat as a companion to us all. The biggest challenge was to help our son get past this stage and move onto feeling a peace about it and thankfulness for having had the chance to love our cat the way we did.
We don’t always succeed in this and everyday is a new challenge but it is getting better.
As a part of the grieving for my son and myself I wrote a little ode to help us remember the good times.
Ode to Aetius
My little fatty boom bah how I miss thee, let me count the ways…
I miss the tinkling of your bell that reminded me you were never far away.
I miss your meow at the gate because someone had closed it and locked you out.
I miss walking around the garage and finding you sunning yourself on the patio chairs.
And how you would look at me and then roll around on the chair as if to say “come scratch my tummy please”.
I miss seeing you on the roof in the early hours of a spring morning looking for the heat of the sun.
I miss sitting at the computer in winter and you jumping up to sit on my chest and snuggle into my pink fluffy dressing gown.
I miss you waking me at four in the morning for your breakfast and to be let out.
I miss how happy you made Elijah.
I miss you sitting with me as I sewed, and then stealing my chair when I got up to iron something.
I miss you sitting out the back on YOUR chair for most of the day, just loving the peace and quiet.
I miss you rolling in the dirt like a dog, and playing chasey with me around the yard.
I miss you running around the outside of the trampoline as we played chasey.
I miss in winter how you would give me that look, the one that said “I am cold it’s time for bed”.
I miss you snuggling between daddy and I in winter and your little snores.
I miss your traps you would often set 4 me, how you reeled me in by acting like you wanted a tummy rub but then sprang on me and had a rough house time.
I miss how you tried to push Nana out of the bed when she dared to sleep in YOUR room, and how you snuggled her every night she was here.
There are so many things I miss…but most of all I miss YOU.
Amanda Stevens 2012
Enjoy your family and your fur babies…